I like the opening – I wanted to imagine what I would see in a forest straight away. A lovely place name – perhaps it needs a capital letter as it is a name though?
What is it about the BIRDY NUGGETS which makes them the most amazing thing in the world? I am imagining something a bit like chicken nuggets with wings and multi-coloured feathers swooping by – though I can’t imagine they would taste very nice! Then I thought of nuggets of gold instead – maybe flying golden birds dazzling in the sunlight.
Very thought provoking. Just check your sentence structure a bit towards the end – the tense varies a little – try to maintain past tense throughout.
Zavier, wonderful beginning – the imagine forest! Anything could happen here for the Lego boy. The Birdy Nuggets made for a light-hearted ending. I like it! Thank you for sharing your writing.
Well done for completing another excellent challenge. I hope you get some more comments but make sure you also share it with you family.
Mr Paine
I like the opening – I wanted to imagine what I would see in a forest straight away. A lovely place name – perhaps it needs a capital letter as it is a name though?
What is it about the BIRDY NUGGETS which makes them the most amazing thing in the world? I am imagining something a bit like chicken nuggets with wings and multi-coloured feathers swooping by – though I can’t imagine they would taste very nice! Then I thought of nuggets of gold instead – maybe flying golden birds dazzling in the sunlight.
Very thought provoking. Just check your sentence structure a bit towards the end – the tense varies a little – try to maintain past tense throughout.
Great sentence opener, on the other hand.
Well done Zav! This is a very good piece of writing x
Great piece of work, Zavier, though remember to stay in the same tense. Well done.
Very good piece of writing
Zavier, wonderful beginning – the imagine forest! Anything could happen here for the Lego boy. The Birdy Nuggets made for a light-hearted ending. I like it! Thank you for sharing your writing.
Mrs. Peterson
Texas, USA