A great piece – so powerful and thought provoking. I now have so many questions in my head! Where does the family live? What are the birds like? I am imaginging black, sinister birds – a menacing threat.
The only sentence I would work on is the ending. You change tense in the middle. The world WENT black but then THROBS is in the present tense rather than using THROBBED.
Keep up the good writing, I hope to read your next piece.
Thank you for your comments! I will take in all the advice and take it on board in my next 100 word challenge.
Thank you again, for taking the time to comment, you’ve been a great help
Martha
Martha, I am glad that we have been able to publish one of your blogs. Your writing is always so good it deserves a wider audience.
Mr Paine
A great piece – so powerful and thought provoking. I now have so many questions in my head! Where does the family live? What are the birds like? I am imaginging black, sinister birds – a menacing threat.
The only sentence I would work on is the ending. You change tense in the middle. The world WENT black but then THROBS is in the present tense rather than using THROBBED.
Keep up the good writing, I hope to read your next piece.
Mrs Haka
well done
this is a great piece of writing
This is a really good piece of writing
well done
OMG Martha this is amazing!!!! I love the word vertigo and I don’t even know what it means!!!!
from Emily xx
Fantastic, Martha. there are so many parts of this post I enjoyed reading.
Well, well Martha. Another great story. The language is impressive and unique. I look forward to reading another one of your fantastic pieces. 😀
Thank you for your comments! I will take in all the advice and take it on board in my next 100 word challenge.
Thank you again, for taking the time to comment, you’ve been a great help
Martha
This is a powerful piece of writing try to add in historical questions.