Jessica. I think you have published a blog every week since we first signed up for the 100 word challenge. Your writing has always been excellent. This no exception. Thanks for making the effort each week. I think you know another teacher who you might be able to persuade to make a comment…
I don’t know which teacher Mr Paine means, but I am another one who is always keen to comment on pieces of writing – you obviously have a big audience.
My favourite sentence in your piece this week is “I was there” – simple, powerful and a great paragraph opener.
I think what you now need to work on is editing your work before publishihg to check for punctiuation improvements to take it up to the next level. You could do this yourself by reading it aloud, or with a partner. “I started screaming”, for example could be a short sentence on its own. There are also places you could use commas after your sentence openings. You have also mis-types the word “off”.
Keep working on your writing – it gets better and better.
Jessica. I think you have published a blog every week since we first signed up for the 100 word challenge. Your writing has always been excellent. This no exception. Thanks for making the effort each week. I think you know another teacher who you might be able to persuade to make a comment…
Mr Paine
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
I don’t know which teacher Mr Paine means, but I am another one who is always keen to comment on pieces of writing – you obviously have a big audience.
My favourite sentence in your piece this week is “I was there” – simple, powerful and a great paragraph opener.
I think what you now need to work on is editing your work before publishihg to check for punctiuation improvements to take it up to the next level. You could do this yourself by reading it aloud, or with a partner. “I started screaming”, for example could be a short sentence on its own. There are also places you could use commas after your sentence openings. You have also mis-types the word “off”.
Keep working on your writing – it gets better and better.
Mrs Haka
mis-typed – sorry
Brilliant work, the ending was hilarious!