Hi there! Very well done on writing such a wonderful story! Here are some points I would like to make about it:
– You had some brilliant descriptions such as “dark misty seas”; these add tension and allow the reader to imagine what your story looks and feels like.
– Be careful when using colloquialisms (which means words or phrases used in everyday language). For example, you said ‘like a boss’ which although is not incorrect in terms of spelling or grammar, it is not something you would really use in a story or creative text.
– You start sentences in very interesting and creative ways – ‘without hesitating’, ‘finally’, ‘taking a peak’ are just a few examples from your text. Great work!
– Don’t forget to have spaces between commas and the following word. I am referring to: “Finally,I made it back.” I am sure this was just from typing but it does highlight the importance of reading through your work to check for little mistakes!
– Fantastic end, makes me want to find out what happened to Junior!
Overall, I am very impressed by your story and I hope you keep writing to develop your skills. Well done on this amazing piece!
Stephen, beautifully written. great description, good tension. A lot happens in a hundred words. I can picture the scene. This is a perfect example of how to get maximum impact out of a 100 words. Well done.
Hi there! Very well done on writing such a wonderful story! Here are some points I would like to make about it:
– You had some brilliant descriptions such as “dark misty seas”; these add tension and allow the reader to imagine what your story looks and feels like.
– Be careful when using colloquialisms (which means words or phrases used in everyday language). For example, you said ‘like a boss’ which although is not incorrect in terms of spelling or grammar, it is not something you would really use in a story or creative text.
– You start sentences in very interesting and creative ways – ‘without hesitating’, ‘finally’, ‘taking a peak’ are just a few examples from your text. Great work!
– Don’t forget to have spaces between commas and the following word. I am referring to: “Finally,I made it back.” I am sure this was just from typing but it does highlight the importance of reading through your work to check for little mistakes!
– Fantastic end, makes me want to find out what happened to Junior!
Overall, I am very impressed by your story and I hope you keep writing to develop your skills. Well done on this amazing piece!
thanks. What happened to Junior is another story…
Stephen, beautifully written. great description, good tension. A lot happens in a hundred words. I can picture the scene. This is a perfect example of how to get maximum impact out of a 100 words. Well done.
NICE WORK STEPHEN hope you keep it up