I love the last 2 sentences in this – the reflection in the eyes in particular. Well done! What was the sound that came out of the mouth? It is great to try and imaging what created such horror…
Only improvement I can see would be an apostrophe for “girl’s relief”.
Elise well done for completing a second challenge. Please show it your family so they can make a comment.
Mr Paine
I love the last 2 sentences in this – the reflection in the eyes in particular. Well done! What was the sound that came out of the mouth? It is great to try and imaging what created such horror…
Only improvement I can see would be an apostrophe for “girl’s relief”.
Keep writing,
Mrs Haka
thanks
that is really good Elise. I love your ideas. good used of vocabulary.
You have some creative sentences in there.
Very good! amazing improvement
very good!
Great work Elise, I really like the last half of this post. well done.
Great work, I like this one the best!
wow Elise this is very good! I really enjoyed reading it x
Love the story Elise great vocabulary
This is a great blog especially the ideas you used to make this and I really enjoyed reading this!