Sophia, you are an old hand at these blogs now. Thanks for completing them each week. Another very entertaining piece of writing that you must share with your family.
A great piece! The series of short sentences makes the reader pause along with the action – I felt like I was in the story as I was reading it. Well done.
If you want to work on this further you could consider using one or two exclamation marks in places instead of a full stop – this would make the most dramatic sections of your piece stand out. What do you think? Which sentences are the main highlights for the reader?
Sophia, you are an old hand at these blogs now. Thanks for completing them each week. Another very entertaining piece of writing that you must share with your family.
Mr Paine
A great piece! The series of short sentences makes the reader pause along with the action – I felt like I was in the story as I was reading it. Well done.
If you want to work on this further you could consider using one or two exclamation marks in places instead of a full stop – this would make the most dramatic sections of your piece stand out. What do you think? Which sentences are the main highlights for the reader?
I look forward to next week’s piece.
Mrs Haka
Amazing! It has a great hook and a very interesting plot, I loved it!
well done
from martha