Super! Definitely one of my favourites this week. I like the way you draw the reader in to your piece and some great word choices too, e.g. monstrous and murky. It reminds me of Britten’s Storm music, the film Titanic and so much more – a great topic as the reader has prior knowledge from TV/books/music they can draw on to help them picture this in their head.
Thank you so much for your entry into the 100WC this week. I agree with your teacher that this is a very well written and thought out piece of writing. I can identify with your character and how they are feeling because you have used some interesting vocabulary. The way you left the story also gives me a little hope that your character might be saved. The use of the ellipsis was well placed. Well done! I enjoyed your writing and am going to nominate it for the showcase this week. Keep up the great work!
Super! Definitely one of my favourites this week. I like the way you draw the reader in to your piece and some great word choices too, e.g. monstrous and murky. It reminds me of Britten’s Storm music, the film Titanic and so much more – a great topic as the reader has prior knowledge from TV/books/music they can draw on to help them picture this in their head.
Well done.
Thank you for taking the time to comment on my work, Mrs Haka.
Hi Kamaree,
Thank you so much for your entry into the 100WC this week. I agree with your teacher that this is a very well written and thought out piece of writing. I can identify with your character and how they are feeling because you have used some interesting vocabulary. The way you left the story also gives me a little hope that your character might be saved. The use of the ellipsis was well placed. Well done! I enjoyed your writing and am going to nominate it for the showcase this week. Keep up the great work!
Mrs McG (Team 100WC)
Derbyshire, England
Well done Kamaree! Another fantastic piece of creative writing, keep it up.
Miss Tytherleigh
Southborough Primary School
Absolutely phenomenal Kamaree! You have used great description, suspense and sentence openers. Kepp up the amazing work!
wow Kamaree I really enjoyed this story I really want to know what happens next please, please, please write a sequel.
from MW.
remarkable piece of work