It sounds like you had an eventful flight noticing all the different things from your plane window! The adjectives you use are really effective as I felt like I was right there on the flight with you and seeing these sights. Your first sentence seems quite long, so maybe try sticking in a full stop and/or comma somewhere to break it up. Using short, meaningful sentences is a good way to keep readers engaged and allow them to read through easier. Fantastic writing, keep it up!
Hi Jack,
It sounds like you had an eventful flight noticing all the different things from your plane window! The adjectives you use are really effective as I felt like I was right there on the flight with you and seeing these sights. Your first sentence seems quite long, so maybe try sticking in a full stop and/or comma somewhere to break it up. Using short, meaningful sentences is a good way to keep readers engaged and allow them to read through easier. Fantastic writing, keep it up!
Best Wishes
Miss Toal