Stuck in this trap

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One Response to Stuck in this trap

  1. Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) says:

    Hello Jessica,

    Gloominess, a cell with little inside, no comfort, and loneliness away from the family would be the existence for someone locked in a cell. Depression being there so long would be the result if there for nearly three years. You have been able to share the feelings and thoughts of a prisoner and the longing for freedom. Well done.

    It can be hard to develop a coherent story in only 98 words but you have achieved this. This could be the beginning of a much larger story exploring the reasons for imprisonment, the possibility of escape and what would follow but then it wouldn’t be a diary entry.

    Looking at spelling, punctuation and grammar, I noticed only a few small errors you missed when editing (“I’m” in the second last line and “it’s” in the last line). Perhaps a question mark might go after “depressing” in the last line because the sentence does include a question. These are only minor suggestions I felt I would share with a writer obviously developing good writing skills.

    I hope you might in future be able to enter the 100WC but, if not, keep writing. Creative minds should share their adventures.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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