Gloominess, a cell with little inside, no comfort, and loneliness away from the family would be the existence for someone locked in a cell. Depression being there so long would be the result if there for nearly three years. You have been able to share the feelings and thoughts of a prisoner and the longing for freedom. Well done.
It can be hard to develop a coherent story in only 98 words but you have achieved this. This could be the beginning of a much larger story exploring the reasons for imprisonment, the possibility of escape and what would follow but then it wouldn’t be a diary entry.
Looking at spelling, punctuation and grammar, I noticed only a few small errors you missed when editing (“I’m” in the second last line and “it’s” in the last line). Perhaps a question mark might go after “depressing” in the last line because the sentence does include a question. These are only minor suggestions I felt I would share with a writer obviously developing good writing skills.
I hope you might in future be able to enter the 100WC but, if not, keep writing. Creative minds should share their adventures.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Hello Jessica,
Gloominess, a cell with little inside, no comfort, and loneliness away from the family would be the existence for someone locked in a cell. Depression being there so long would be the result if there for nearly three years. You have been able to share the feelings and thoughts of a prisoner and the longing for freedom. Well done.
It can be hard to develop a coherent story in only 98 words but you have achieved this. This could be the beginning of a much larger story exploring the reasons for imprisonment, the possibility of escape and what would follow but then it wouldn’t be a diary entry.
Looking at spelling, punctuation and grammar, I noticed only a few small errors you missed when editing (“I’m” in the second last line and “it’s” in the last line). Perhaps a question mark might go after “depressing” in the last line because the sentence does include a question. These are only minor suggestions I felt I would share with a writer obviously developing good writing skills.
I hope you might in future be able to enter the 100WC but, if not, keep writing. Creative minds should share their adventures.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia