Dear Ben, I like your story. I like how you said, ‘an awkward silence.’ Instead of just putting it was silent, well done. I also love the funny, but a bit frightening part where there was person under the tree when it fell, luckily, they got away.
Maybe next time try and use a De:de sentence De:de stands for detail, description.’Then, thunder struck a towering tree, which was in a river: it had a person underneath. You see, I put a colon there to separate the two main clauses.
Well done Ben.
From, Ray 6D United Kingdom.
PLEASE VISIT OUR BLOG: http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/
Dear Ben, I like your story. I like how you said, ‘an awkward silence.’ Instead of just putting it was silent, well done. I also love the funny, but a bit frightening part where there was person under the tree when it fell, luckily, they got away.
Maybe next time try and use a De:de sentence De:de stands for detail, description.’Then, thunder struck a towering tree, which was in a river: it had a person underneath. You see, I put a colon there to separate the two main clauses.
Well done Ben.
From, Ray 6D United Kingdom.
PLEASE VISIT OUR BLOG: http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/
great story ben! i like your sentence openers e.g. Gradually and Suddenly
I really liked your story