Dear Zoe, I like your imagination, why not have an orange park, it made me laugh! I like how your character asked her a question instead of just saying it, do you do that sometimes? I do. Maybe next time try and stay in one tense, you swithched from past and present tense. It was a bit confusing, but I understood what you was trying to say.
Well done, good luck on your next 100wc.
From Ray.
PLEASE VISIT OUR BLOG: http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/
Dear Zoe, I like your imagination, why not have an orange park, it made me laugh! I like how your character asked her a question instead of just saying it, do you do that sometimes? I do. Maybe next time try and stay in one tense, you swithched from past and present tense. It was a bit confusing, but I understood what you was trying to say.
Well done, good luck on your next 100wc.
From Ray.
PLEASE VISIT OUR BLOG: http://ribbledriveprimary.net/yearsix2015/