Hi there! Thank you for uploading your story, it was fun to read! Here are some things I would like to note:
– Please remember when you are listing items or names, you must put a comma in between them. For example: “Daisy, Tuvana, Jodie, Brooke, and I went swimming in the Glades.”
– Following on from this, to identify whether to say ‘I’, ‘me’, or ‘myself’ when listing people, take the other names out and see if it makes sense. So:
*”me Daisy Tuvana Jodie and Brooke all went swimming in the Glades” would change to “me all went swimming in the Glades” which does not make sense.
*However, “Daisy, Tuvana, Jodie, Brooke, and I went swimming in the Glades” would change to “I went swimming in the Glades” which does make sense.
– Well done for starting all of your sentences in different ways, this is a good skill and avoids repetition.
– Please note the spelling correction for ‘coincidentally’.
– Fantastic use of punctuation here: exclamation marks and ellipses were used in effective ways.
Jessica, glad the day worked out in the end. All sounds very realistic, especially what you did all night. If you have a list of names, what punctuation usually separates them? Well done for completing the blog, I can’t imagine what Daisy, Tuvana, Brooke or you would do when you get angry.
Hi there! Thank you for uploading your story, it was fun to read! Here are some things I would like to note:
– Please remember when you are listing items or names, you must put a comma in between them. For example: “Daisy, Tuvana, Jodie, Brooke, and I went swimming in the Glades.”
– Following on from this, to identify whether to say ‘I’, ‘me’, or ‘myself’ when listing people, take the other names out and see if it makes sense. So:
*”me Daisy Tuvana Jodie and Brooke all went swimming in the Glades” would change to “me all went swimming in the Glades” which does not make sense.
*However, “Daisy, Tuvana, Jodie, Brooke, and I went swimming in the Glades” would change to “I went swimming in the Glades” which does make sense.
– Well done for starting all of your sentences in different ways, this is a good skill and avoids repetition.
– Please note the spelling correction for ‘coincidentally’.
– Fantastic use of punctuation here: exclamation marks and ellipses were used in effective ways.
Keep up the good work!
Jessica, glad the day worked out in the end. All sounds very realistic, especially what you did all night. If you have a list of names, what punctuation usually separates them? Well done for completing the blog, I can’t imagine what Daisy, Tuvana, Brooke or you would do when you get angry.
Great story jess I think its amazing! just remember to use commas in a list.