I really enjoyed this story – there is some wonderful descriptive language and you have conveyed feelings and emotion.
Well done!
‘walking hurriedly’ ‘scuttling in the bushes’ ‘huge darkened figure’ are some favourites.
I wonder if some sentence beginnings could be changed? This may help launch into the action
Keep up your writing and I hope I have the opportunity to read other 100WC stories
John C
Australia
Your use of punctuation and brilliant openers to your sentences really draw the reader in! I want to know more about what happens in the house. Excellent!
I really liked this one – draws the reader in and has a great rhetorical question. One of my favourites, well done!
I really enjoyed this story – there is some wonderful descriptive language and you have conveyed feelings and emotion.
Well done!
‘walking hurriedly’ ‘scuttling in the bushes’ ‘huge darkened figure’ are some favourites.
I wonder if some sentence beginnings could be changed? This may help launch into the action
Keep up your writing and I hope I have the opportunity to read other 100WC stories
John C
Australia
Your use of punctuation and brilliant openers to your sentences really draw the reader in! I want to know more about what happens in the house. Excellent!
Abigail, reading this for the second time and it’s just as enjoyable! Well done.
Abi this is very good! Well done! lyl xx
Abi , it is so good! Well done for using really good descriptions. maybe try and use sentence openers and/or similes. Overall, an enjoyable read.
really good hun x
Thank you all for taking your time to comment.